Ambar G Ambar G

5/12/2025

I’m addicted to being depressed

I know nothing different because it has been my life

So what’s the opposite?

Silence? Peace?

That’s what I imagine

I have to seek and access things that do pull me out of it

do it more

the advance level is being able to find the resource in myself

I interpret this concept as a fairy tale

It’s not fair caring for how other people feel

I don’t want to be responsible for other people’s emotions

If they feel good-I’m scared of tainting it

If they feel bad- I’m scared to cause more suffering

I’m depressed and angry

And probably a lot of other things too

You say I don’t know how to talk about the anger or emptiness

Because I don’t talk about it

And I don’t, at least not with other people

But it’s always there.

So I don’t want to give it any more space than it already has

I move through things quickly-it’s survival

But I also do talk about these things

To myself, in my head

Believe me it’s not a stranger

But this gets exhausting with all the other noise in my head

It doesn’t serve me to recount the things that have happened

I guess that’s why therapy stopped working…

I’m tired of hearing it

I’m tired of the pity from the person sitting across from me

I’m tired of the complaints and grievances that come out of my mouth

So what your mother didn’t want you?

So what you were raped as a child?

So now you’re sad? Okay…

Yeah, it sucks, and?

The past is stable, we can’t change the facts

Talking about it doesn’t help

I’m just chasing my tail as I recite details of a life that has no significance

I don’t know what I’m angry about

That might be a lie- it is…

Anger has been the drive of my life

At least a main source

Fear is debilitating, but anger-it’s actionable

I’m angry about the circumstances of my life

My upbringing

The abuse and neglect

The disregard… The invisibility of my existence

but then so what?

i’m justifiably angry at my mother for the actions she took

and justifiably angry for my father's passivity.

So what?

I’m angry with everyone else who came to take pieces of me

And reminded me in the most cruel ways that I’m still nothing…

So-what?

I survived through my work ethic

I’m a fast learner because everything has rules, patterns, and structures.

You just have to follow each step and it results in the final product

This is the part most people have access to

I’m scared of showing more of myself so I don’t hurt anyone with those parts

I give a fraction to people

So sure, 20% to you

I do it because I worry the rest will hurt them

People don’t like darkness

Initially they may find it poetic

The foreign nature of it might be appealing

Maybe they think it will make them feel more alive

But this fades…

people don’t seek darkness

why would you pick the dark girl with no face?

Over someone bright? Not a chance

And I don’t blame them

I’m hyperindependent

And when things build and get worse, I pull away from people

I protect those I care for

It’s an egregious assumption to think others don’t have their own battles

I slowly pull away so it’s not so obvious

But eventually they seek me out

I get mad because I want to be alone

“I’m protecting you damniit”

And if they get sad about it then I feel awful

But more mad because I knew it would happen

I just want them to think I’m fine and now worry about me

Not need me or be attached to me

To let me go…

So yes…

I have no say in who loves me

This is true

And sometimes that feels like a burden…

I tell you I pull away to protect those I care for

To make sure the hurtful parts of me don't bleed all over them

and yes, this is true

but this isn’t the only way pulling away protects people from the things my darkness desires

But I can’t say it

There’s no one to tell

No one to share the real thoughts and feelings I project onto my canvases

I think the words but don’t dare say them

I can’t see it- this perspective you speak of

I don’t like myself

How do I change that perspective?

I don’t care for life

How do I change that perspective?

I feel stupid

like I’m a burden

Again, I don’t want to hurt people I care about

Who do I think I am to think I have the power to take someone’s light away? You asked.

I suppose it’s because I know it’s possible

I understand because somebody took mine…

I think there is a point in which you can break people

Hurt them, damage them

Do things you can’t undo

The poison that wrecked me was left behind in me

So then, am I addicted to this because I don’t want to get better?

I don’t want the other perspective bad enough?

But this couldn’t be it

It doesnt FEEL like the answer

I've spent SO much time, money, energy in trying to like myself

To want to live

I've run out of ideas

Yes, I’m tired and always been

This feels different though

I won’t do it like this anymore- I can’t

The weight of the last 2 yrs- really 6 yrs is hitting me

My world flipped on it’s axis

I started all over again

It was just about moving

No time to process or feel it

You don’t think about the awful thing

but as things have slowed down in the last 8 months

I’ve realized how empty I am

How depressed of a person I am

How much of it I still carry

I’ve known these things but I’m not so sure I’ve observed myself this way

I immediately think-

was it really that bad for me to be this fucking depressed

this addicted

was it really that bad?

then the other thought is- does it just mean I’m weak

You say I can’t keep the list going.

The list of the things I hate about myself

But I know I can, because I have

The more I dig, the more I explore myself- the more I hate

I can start with my body

I can talk about my personality

or the habits I have

I can give you an on-going list of the things I watch myself do or say

that I wish no longer existed in one person…

and if I try to make a list of things I like-I quickly find the negative side

It becomes a list of things I don’t like without me noticing

I don’t feel others understand

And I don’t feel like you do either

Sometimes you misunderstand me

And its on me to clarify things

But I don’t because I think - what does it matter?

Sometimes you make assumptions that are also incorrect

Sometimes I don’t correct those

Sometimes I let you or others think I’m dumb or confused

I often say “I don’t know” when I really just don’t want to tell you what i’m thinking

what does it really matter what I think, feel, or understand?

I’ve been doing it on my own for a long time

People are unreliable

Sometimes people don’t care

Sometimes they do help

But it’s easier to skip the step of finding out

If i just have to manage on my own in the end anyways

Healing happens with others…

but i’ve learned to be by myself

I do fine by myself

Lately, I wonder if this is something else broken about me

Is seeking and prefering solitude a problem?

Is it really about me not wanting it bad enough?

What would it mean to change it?

If I change my perspective about myself and life…

then it would mean

That I was worth forgiving all along

That I was worth loving all along

It wasn’t that fucking hard

So I refuse to see Her

To see Her face

To watch the weight of so much darkness slowly dim her light

The light of a child…. that maybe was never all that hard to love

I’d have to face all she lost or never had the chance to even have

Simply based on the randomness of life

It would mean that all i carry isnt because I deserved it

But because there were people in my life that had their own stuff that they couldn’t manage

I just happen to be in the line of fire when those dark fantasies poured out of them

So it has to be me that’s fucked up

thats damaged

and deserves it

because if I didn’t deserve it

then what unbelievably fucked up luck i’ve had

how unbelievably unfair

and my brain immediately rejects that

it wasn’t that bad

who are you to say poor me

to say what unfortunate circumstances i’ve had in my life

no-it makes more sense to deserve it

to be ugly and fucked up

I wasn’t worthy of anything different

and all those things damaged me more

so it makes sense more happened

each time he came back-it was because I was already dirty…

And I didn’t want it to be anyone else

I didn’t want him to take their light too…

the other hard thing about what it would mean is-

I don’t know what to do with this story then

So if i change this perspective

and let myself believe that the madness is over…

that the thing I was striving so fucking hard to create for myself…

actually, happened.

If I let myself believe that

I don’t know what my nervous system would do

What my mind would make of it?

If there is no more fighting, no more battles?

is it really over?

I was fighting for it but it wasn’t about achieving it

I didn’t think that was possible-

It was about surviving

so then would it mean I truly beat it?

And if I did, how do I explain all that was?

How do I tell the story of me with an ending that makes no sense?

I’m so fucking tired

And they’re all telling me to slow down

a part of me doesn’t know how to

how to begin

and another part-protests being told what to do

Or maybe people telling me there is hope

I fear what if for me there isn’t

and I try with dreams of this ending

but it becomes another discouraging wound

I’m the most mediocre person

there is nothing special about me- you’re right

There is nothing special about my experiences

there isn’t

I’m a very ordinary person

And I don’t know if the things that happened to me were that bad or if I’m just a bitch about it

I don’t know but I’m angry and bitter all the time

I couldn’t tell you what exactly about

Because it’s everything

it’s because I can’t make sense of what was

And changing my perspective means being angerier-rageful

I’m angry that i’m here, angry that I’m alive

Angry that I can’t get the blessing to leave

That I had no say in the choice to be here

and even before I took my first breath I was resented for my existence

I’m scared of the power that kinda rage has

But that’s the thing, if I really am this wounded

damaged

wouldn’t it take someone exceptional to overcome that

to beat the statistic

I’m just ordinary

The ending doesn’t line up

I don’t share many things

Not in detail

How cruel to make someone sit through it

The other reflection is about being liked

I do want to be liked

I would like to be liked as I am

And not in a-selfish kind of way of resisting accountability

I just want to be liked

without having all the things wrong with me or off be a project to fix

I already know

hence why I didn’t want to show you

but if I’m brave enough to show you

and I have to hear about how it hurts you…

How it makes you sad

it reinforces the idea that I think those things are awful too

And I watch how they bleed into others

I want to be liked

without having to protect you

I am so tired of being told, “i’m sad because you’re sad”

“it makes me sad that you’re sad”

“i don’t know what to tell you”

I feel their anxiety and pressure to “fix” this thing that I am

And it becomes very clear it’s not a part of me they like

so i go back to the 20%

I think this world is very dark

I think there is a lot of evil in it

and we all have some degree of evil

so the last thing I want to do

when I see light in others is dim it

I don’t want to dim it

I don’t want to take away what little light there might be in someone or this world

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Ambar G Ambar G

4/10/2025

These appointments leave me irritated

In one way or another it’s the same conversation

“Slow down”

They all unanimously advise

This isn’t the first time I’ve sat across people insistent on this point

I’d wave away the remark

Push my body harder

Role my eyes and mutter, “Watch me”

I manage every diagnosis

Take the pills, do the procedures

But don’t stop

My therapists have highlighted how I neglect Her

Now, I’m being told I neglect my body too

I argue my points

Attempt to dismiss their comments

But this time they don’t let it go

Suddenly, I don’t feel I have a choice

But then I think, I do- I could do nothing

She looking at my chart

Then checks my pulse

My pulse of life, energy- low

I’d say it’s reflective of how I feel

Of how invested I am in this world

Again, the words are said to me, “The answer is to slow down”

I crack a dismissive joke

Which only seems to make her more frank

“The answer you’re seeking is to slow down”

“Look,..I get the sense you’re brilliant and have figured out a way to run from a painful past”

I attempt to deflect…

“You have created a whole other life for yourself. Decades of this is catching up. You’re not young anymore… the answer is to- slow. down.”

My voice surprises me when I share, “I can’t- Don’t know how”

“…You can stop running now”

She leaves me with an answer I don’t want to hear

And one I don’t know where to begin with

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Ambar G Ambar G

4/10/2025

I think I’ve been in this hole for the better part of a year

Something’s off

It’s hard to catch when I’m in it

The remnants of the past call to me

Luring me into this hole

They sing me the lullaby of death…

The world around me feels fake

It’s unsafe and distant

I slowly push through the atmosphere like molasses

I often feel like a corpse

Some zooned out zombie

Half dead…. half alive

I prefer this at times

It’s familiar

I keep Her locked in a room

Down a very long hallway

I can feel Her and I can hear Her

But I don’t dare look back…

It’s hard…

I try but sometimes it’s better to feel nothing

I feel the pressure build inside me

It’s crawling under my skin

…so-I make it stop…

When it hits— there’s this relief

The other night it triggered a purge

As I slipped into death the tears fell

Tears of gratitude- for the relief

Tears of disappointment- for my cowardness

If I surrender to death

Then I don’t have to witness my cowardness

And I certainly don’t have to acknowledge how sad of a person I truly am…

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Ambar G Ambar G

4/5/2025

I’m tired…

Tired of trying to be someone worth knowing

I’m not well…

Probably never really have been

But this feeling- it’s winning

I keep waiting for life…to start

Maybe this is it…

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Ambar G Ambar G

3/22/2025

Did I go too far?

I believed knowledge to be the key

The master key to unlocking my sanity

How couldn’t it not be?

I’ve been in the pursuit of truth-

Unlocking as many doors as possible and as fast as I can

They come in and out of my office all day

Like a flip book, their silhouettes sitting and standing so quickly

They shift in their seats

Crossing and uncrossing their legs

This key seems to work for other people

Is that how it’s suppose to work?

Does knowing too much impact its efficacy for me?

Did I sacrifice my opportunity?

Why doesn’t it work for me?

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Ambar G Ambar G

2/22/2025

I often wonder about how other women experience this

It’s not something I question out loud

Logically, I know it had nothing to do with me

But a louder part recognizes she birthed her greatest pain

I've spent my entire existence knowing I wasn’t wanted

I haven’t found a way to undo it…

I think it’s something i’m suppose to live with

You pick up the pieces,… carry them, and keep moving

Regardless of the cards you were dealt…

… the mother you got…

Life knows how to trigger the unwelcomed thought

“I want my mom”

It’s followed by this strong urge to pick up the phone and call a women who loves me more than anyone on this planet

A women, who may not be perfect but loves me more than she loves her pain

She's always rooting for me

Always knows what to say

She’s my biggest cheerleader

(Even knowing all my mess)

She's always protecting me

Making sure i’m taken care of…

Despite reality Im pulled into this fantasy

It only lasts a fraction of a second

I almost instantly remember… there is no one to call

Over and over I relive the experience

Like i’m hearing the news for the first time…

“You have no mother to call”

It doesn’t hurt like it use to

Having someone to call is like winning the lottery

I don’t think people truly appreciate what an amazing gift it is to have a mother to call…

A mother who picks up

Who shows up…

But, I think I still get stuck

Guilt always lingers in the corners of my grief

At least my mother, isn’t dead….

Right?…

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Ambar G Ambar G

1/28/2025

The image replays over and over

Sometimes I can’t find the words to describe an experience…

Images seem to work best when words fail

I imagine the ink on the quill hitting the paper

The paper, parched, quickly drinks

The ink bleeds through the subtle dimples of the sheet

This is the feeling that spreads

My body releases the air and tension it’s been holding

quill on paper

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Ambar G Ambar G

1/18/2025

Someone once told me I was broken

Trying to connect with others feels futile

Maybe, I’m best alone

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Ambar G Ambar G

1/16/2025

The more I resist the more it persists… C. J.

I can’t make the noise stop…

I’m tired…

The sirens are calling…

I’m tired of resisting…

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Ambar G Ambar G

1/9/2025

(Dream)

People keep looking at me

I'm standing alone now at this party

Seems there are only men really around

I make myself busy and start cleaning

I find myself in the laundry room

I hear noise coming down the hallway and i peek

There is a guy jumping as he pulls his pants up

As he slips his shoes on

He sees me

And puts his arm around me as he walks me away from the room

Another comes up and asks for a hug as he comes in for an embrace

I'm uncomfortable

I know this feeling but I don't know why

I watch as he walks out of the room

He's clothed

But when we make eye contact a stone develops in my stomach

Like he's a doctor coming out of the room of a loved one

Preparing to deliver some bad news

The more this look tells me, "don't come"

The more i want to

My legs pull me towards him

Everyone's watching

I'm nauseated by him now

Angry

Disappointed

My hands begin to shake

My throat closes

I look in the room

The image is gone from memory already

But the feeling isnt...

I dropped to the floor

He tries to catch me

But I don't want him touching me

The screaming begins

I'm not screaming at anyone at first

But the more he tries to hold me the angrier I get

"What did you do!?"

"Did you do that!?"

"Why would you do that to her!?"

Death breaks through the floor

I beg to be consumed

But it only comes to wrap itself around me

To tighten it's grip

And leave another mark

"I WANT TO DIE"

I wake up...

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Ambar G Ambar G

1/5/2025

I fantasize about it a lot

It feels so good and devastatingly bad

My ribs ache as he presses them against the sink

I avoid eye contact with myself

He's washing it away...

He knows what I know...

It's not coming off...

It's like rinsing oil off your hands with water

But he tries...

I gag, sometimes vomit over the running water but he never stops

He takes the toothbrush

The mouth wash...

I hate the taste of listerine

I hate scrubbing my tongue...

It's the same protocol each time

He leaves me on the lid...

My soul drips into the toilet...

I can smell it... I can taste it...

Sometimes i’d watch as the red moves and flows into hues of pink

Lose myself in nothing…

Sometimes I'd pray…

I’d make promises- i’d be a good girl

Worthy of his saving, I promise

… i’m not dirty

He killed me

Long before I could even live...

.....

I hated it

I hated him

I hate... me

....

I know him

It's what haunts him today

It oozes out when he drinks

It drives his threats...

I know him...

Like no one else does

With me, he cannot lie

The cost of ending me, is revealing yourself

You cannot take the soul of a child without paying the price

It’s not guilt he is consumed by…

It's the risk of losing power… credibility

You’re just as dirty… as me

I know what he likes...

I know what he hates...

He likes attention

And control

He feeds off your insecurities

He's great at saying a lot without ever really saying anything

He feeds off your pain...

He loves blood...

Especially, when you beg

His tools were always sharp

Always making sure to mark… what he claimed as his…

I carry the weight of my corpse

While he runs wild and free

I fantasize about him begging...

The blood...

The control...

Leaving a mark…

The prolonged execution...

The endorphins rushing through my body

What a high...

What freedom

If his heart stops beating

Mine can stop bleeding...

I watch as the thoughts consume me

Chew me up and spit me out…

Then the same feeling I get from scrubbing my tongue with the toothbrush comes up

Maybe, he left too much of himself in me...

This is when the fantasy shifts

I do not fear them

I welcome them…

If there was a God- this would be the prayer to fulfill

Please let me end here

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Ambar G Ambar G

1/4/2025

I've been thinking about, "this is as good as it gets"
"Good" doesn't feel so good
Hope for a different resolution is gone...

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Ambar G Ambar G

1/1/2025

There is always a point in the night when I’ve run out of…things

Nothing left to do

No one left to call

Just me and the glass of whiskey…

I like being alone…

I also hate it

It’s when the noise takes over

It’s also why I keep my distance from others

I wonder if I’d even like solitude if it weren’t for them

Or maybe it’d be the opposite

It’s all the same cycle

Rinse and repeat

But, some nights I don’t want to be alone with them…

I don’t have the words to explain what happens to me

I couldn’t tell you what I’m so sad about

Or even tell you with certainty that sadness is what I’m feeling

I haven’t figured out where the speaker is

The feedback loop increases the harder I look for it

I’m fine in this familiar space

I manage it alone

But sometimes…

I’d give anything to be held

But not just by anyone

You see, touch is important to me

Touch hurts more than it heals

Safety in it is rare…

I’d have to risk it all and trust someone to keep me safe

To hold me in their arms as I fall apart over something that no longer is

But cannot be explained to them

I hear my own contradictions…

I know I’m scary this way

It’s upsetting to others

And I wish I could explain it…

But I also wish someone wouldn’t look for it

For the answers or understanding in chaos they’ve never lived

I suppose this is an unreasonable ask…

I’m scared of the darkness in me consuming someone else

So, I stay away… to keep them safe-to keep myself safe

Yet, on nights like this, I dispute this claim…

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Ambar G Ambar G

12/28/2024

The noise is tightening the laces around my lungs

My throat is swelling up…

My hands begin to shake

I pick up a brush

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Ambar G Ambar G

12/14/2024

I don’t know how to stop…

I don’t know how to be good enough

I don’t know how to like myself

She struggled to raise me because she didn’t like me

The mean voice in my head was the women dropping me off at the sitter’s

Was, yet the voice in my head continues

It’s not just the thought, “I’ll never be good enough”

But the feeling

That’s worse…

I thought the peak of my grief would be accepting what I never got

There’s no one and nothing to fight anymore

There is silence left in the absence of the war

Making me so aware of just how empty and broken I am…

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Ambar G Ambar G

11/2/2024

(Dream)

I'm in the new apartment I sense.

I'm in session with my therapist

She asks me a question I don't understand about being "bad versus good"

A women, followed by her partner break through my window

The women disappears and its just him

He landed on my bed

I'm screaming and attacking him

I notice a sensation in my sleeve

When I look at the window there are insects coating the window sill

There are flies, bees, worms, spiders

Even frogs

I look at the floor

It's like I'm wearing a flashlight on my head

Everything is dark until I give it my attention

The floor is covered with insects

I try to crawl away

I feel exhausted and give in to the floor

I hear small coughs behind me

I turn to find mufasa, my dog

I reach to touch him and feel terrified I won't feel him

Not only do I feel him but he comes in for more

I begin sobbing

I repeat over and over "I love you"

I wake up shaking....

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Ambar G Ambar G

10/5/2023

“What if I never get my love reciprocated

Born to be the one

Forced to be, the one that never actually dated

And I think I’m a broken record

That every time that I flip

There is no other side

Just some smart ass funny quip

That doesn’t show how upset I am about it

I’m not funny

It’s just a trauma response

What if all I’m gifted

Is somebody’s half hearted nonchalance

I don’t feel rejected

I feel ugly

I feel like I’m not enough

I feel like no matter what happens

I have to suck it up

And be tough

That the grades are never perfect

The photos are never good

That I keep trying to love myself

Just to convince myself that

Somebody else actually could

And the better I get

Sometimes the worse that I feel

Because what if I never get to your

Expectation of what it means to full heal

And I just keep getting older

And each year

It feels like a heavier weight

I keep distracting myself with other hobbies

Like love is an appetite to satiate

I’m not sad about it

I’m just disappointed that I’m still not there

Do you think people feel it

When you include them in a prayer?

What if I never know it?

Not truly

The nausea ensues

If love is an alarm

Why do they just keep hitting snooze?

Because isn’t the dream worth living?

What if I never get…

To know the reality,

Of who I could of met?”

CC

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Ambar G Ambar G

9/20/2024

Every time she touches me…

Every time she holds me…

I wonder why she held back before…

"the price I paid to exist

was a mother who couldn't love me.

my karma was a daughter

made from stars."

-J.J

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